Union Service

The following document is a full union service for gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender couples. It can be adaped for many different stlyes of wedding.

(Compiled by Revs Maureen and Carl Thitchener)

Processional

[Processional of choice]

Opening Words

(Select one or more of following.)

Opening 1

Holy Union is a relationship which embodies all the warm and precious values that grow out of human companionship and love. We enter it joyfully and in the knowledge that love is both our highest achievement and life's most precious gift. Into this relationship with deep commitment and high expectations NAME 1 and NAME 2 come now to join themselves.

Opening 2

The miracle of love is like the miracle of a flower, it thrives upon the sunshine of a smile...it entwines itself around the heart. Its roots are secured in the memories of yesterday and its petals breathe the promise of joy-filled tomorrows. To be loved is to know happiness and contentment. To give love is to know the joy of sharing oneself. It is through the miracle of love that we discover the fullness of life.

Opening 3

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow, to share with each other in all gladness, to be one with each other in the silent unspeakable memories?

Opening 4

Holy Union is the joining of two people-the marriage of two hearts. It lives on the love you give each other and never grows old, but thrives on the joy of each new day...Holy Union is love. May you always be blessed in your hearts with the wonder of this special day. May you always be able to talk things over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life together, and to share moments of quiet and peace, when the day is done. May you be blessed with a lifetime of happiness.

Statements Of Intention

(Select one of the following if desired.)

Statement Of Intention 1

NAME 1 and NAME 2, you have invited us to witness the happiness that you have found in each other. Are you ready to make the pledges to which you commit yourselves to each other in love?

(Answer: "Yes")

Statement Of Intention 2

NAME 1 and NAME 2, you have carefully considered the beauty and obligations assumed when lives are wed. Are you now prepared to enter into this covenant of love?

(Answer: "Yes")

Statement Of Intention 3

NAME 1 and NAME 2, have you come to be joined in the spirit of shared love?

(Answer: "Yes")

Statement Of Intention 4

NAME 1 and NAME 2, do you come before us to be joined in Holy Union?

(Answer:"Yes")

Acknowledgement Of Family And Friends

Acknowledgement 1

As our children become adults, find partners and found homes for the next generation, each family is enriched and enlarged. Do you, who have nurtured these two, bestow your blessing on their union and their family?

(Answer: "I do" or "We do")

Acknowledgement 2

It is appropriate that you, the family and friends are here to participate in this ceremony. The ideals, the understanding, and the mutual respect, which these two bring to their Holy Union have roots in the love, friendship, and guidance, with which you have provided them.

(No answer is required.)

Readings

(Select one or more of the following)

Reading 1

We are gathered here to join NAME 1 and NAME 2 in Holy Union. This is an act as ancient as the history of the human race and as new as each new morning; for it speaks of the past and of the future, of the life of the individual and the existence of the community. Because Holy Union is concerned with the most fundamental of human relationships, it must not be regarded lightly. Those who enter into this relationship shall cherish for each other a mutual esteem and love, bear each other's infirmities and weaknesses, comfort each other in sickness, trouble and sorrow, encourage each other in trials of the spirit, and live together as the heirs of life. Holy Union is not to be entered into unadvisedly, but with devotion and discretion. Love and loyalty will avail as the foundation of a happy and enduring home; and if the solemn vows you are about to make be kept with honor and integrity, your life will be full of peace and joy, and the home you are establishing will be one of warmth and understanding.

Reading 2

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the sight of God, and this company, to join NAME 1 and NAME 2 in Holy Union. They shall give to each other a vow, loving and loved, testifying before us the blending of their ways and the wedding of their hearts. Before us they come together in a relationship which has been treasured and made honorable by faithful keeping, and which, in the presence of God, before whom the secrets of all hearts are disclosed, people have entered into reverently, sincerely, and soberly, and in the joy that comes to those who truly love.

Reading 3

When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us deNAMEd. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, and of relationships, we leap at the flow of the tide, and resist in terror its ebb. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity, when the only continuity possible, in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity, in freedom -- in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. For relationships, too, must be like islands. We must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits -- islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides. One must accept the security of the winged life, of the ebb and flow of intermittency.
...............(from Gift of the Sea, by Ann Morrow Lindbergh)

Reading 4

Love one another, but make not a bond of love; let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup, but drink not of the same cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone. Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping, for only the hand of life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together; for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
...................(from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran)

Reading 5

Though I speak with the tongues of humanity and of angels and have not love, I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing. Whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. And abideth faith, hope and love -- these three. But the greatest of these is love
...........(from I Corinthians 13 by Paul the Apostle)

Reading 6

It takes years to marry completely two hearts, even of the most loving and well matched. A happy marriage is a long falling in love. Young people think love belongs only to the brown-haired and crimson-cheeked. And so it does, for its beginning. But the golden marriage is a part of love which the wedding day knows nothing of. Very few are married totally, and then only after many years of growth in wisdom and understanding. Such a large and sweet fruit is a complete Holy Union that it takes a long summer to ripen in, and then a long winter to mellow and season it. But a real and happy Holy Union of love and judgment between two sincere and loving people is one of the things so very good that if the sun were, as the Greeks fabled, a God, he would stop the world and hold it still now and then in order to look all day long on some example of such a Holy Union, and feast his eyes on the very spectacle of it.

Reading 7

NAME 1 and NAME 2, you have come to this celebration with an awareness that your Holy Union will have its rewards and its joys, as well as sorrows. Your lives will be intertwined with your children (names), and it would be unrealistic to assume that you will all always live in harmony. However, as you have already established a strong foundation for a family life, you will be able to meet future challenges with humour, understanding and compassion. May you, by example, help your children to grow into self-reliant adults, and in turn, may you learn from them, fully appreciating their youthfulness.

Reading 8

NAME 1 and NAME 2, we know that you come from two great religious traditions which are neither contradictory nor antagonistic because their aims are the same - compassion, kindness, respect and a love of family and God. However, a committed relationship need not be a melting pot in which differences cease to exist, and as you become a committed couple you bring together in a mysterious yet happy way, two pasts, differing in traditions. Build on them, for the strength of any people lies in spirituality, however this may be defined. And with the support and encouragement each of you can give to the other, you will be able to develop new personal dimensions, adding new memories and new hopes to those you are bringing into this union.

Reading 9

Listen! I will be honest with you.
I do not offer the old smooth prizes,
But I offer rough new prizes.
These are the days that must happen to you:
You shall not heap up what is called riches,
You shall scatter with lavish bond all that you earn or achieve.
However convenient the dwelling,
You shall not remain there.
However sheltered the port, and howver calm the waters,
You shall not anchor there.
However welcome the hospitality that welcomes you,
You are permitted to receive it but a little while.

Afoot and lighthearted, take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before you.
The long, brown path before you,leading wherever you choose.
Say only to one another:

Comrade, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money:
I give you myself before preaching or law:
Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?
........(from Song of the Open Road by Walt Whitman)

Vows

(Select one of the following.)

Vows 1

I, NAME 2,
take you, NAME 1,
to be the partner of my days,
to be a mentor of my children,
to be the companion of my house.
We shall keep together
what share of trouble and sorrow our lives may lay upon us
and we shall share together our store of goodness and plenty and love.

I, NAME 1,
take you, NAME 2,
to be the partner of my days,
to be a mentor of my children,
to be the companion of my house.
We shall keep together
what share of trouble and sorrow our lives may lay upon us
and we shall share together our store of goodness and plenty and love.

Vows 2

I, NAME 2,
take you, NAME 1,
to be my loving life partner
to have and to hold
from this day forward
for better, for worse
for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health
to love and to cherish, til death do us part
with my whole heart
and with my earnest and complete devotion
I give you my love.

I, NAME 1,
take you, NAME 2,
to be my loving life partner
to have and to hold
from this day forward
for better, for worse
for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health
to love and to cherish, til death do us part
with my whole heart
and with my earnest and complete devotion
I give you my love.

Vows 3

I, NAME 2,
take you, NAME 1,
to be my spouse
to love you and to cherish you
to help you and to honor you
to give you understanding and comfort
in whatever the future may bring
in confidence that together
we are responsible for our destiny.

I, NAME 1,
take you, NAME 2,
to be my spouse
to love you and to cherish you
to help you and to honor you
to give you understanding and comfort
in whatever the future may bring
in confidence that together
we are responsible for our destiny.

Vows 4

I, NAME 2,
take you, NAME 1,
to be no other than yourself
loving what I know of you
trusting what I do not yet know
with respect for your integrity
and faith in your love for me
through all our years
and in all that life may bring us.

I, NAME 1,
take you, NAME 2,
to be no other than yourself
loving what I know of you
trusting what I do not yet know
with respect for your integrity
and faith in your love for me
through all our years
and in all that life may bring us.

Ring Exchange

(Select one of following if desired.)

Ring Vow 1

A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth, and of the universe. It is a symbol of wholeness, and perfection, and of peace. The rings you give and receive this day, then, are symbols of the circle of shared love into which you enter together as partners in life.

Ring Vow 2

May these rings which you give and receive this day be a symbol of true faith in each other, and always remind each of you of the love you share on this day.

Ring Vow 3

May God bless these rings you are about to give and receive this day as a symbol of your abiding love for each other and God's love for each of us.

(Select one of following if desired.)

Ring Exchange 1

"With this ring I thee wed."

Ring Exchange 2

"I give you this ring to wear as a symbol of our love for each other."

Ring Exchange 3

"With this ring, I marry you, and to you I will be true, as long as we both shall live."

Pronouncement

(Select one of following.)

Pronouncement 1

Forasmuch as NAME 2 and NAME 1 have consented together in Holy Union, declaring their love for one another, they are now partners in life.

Pronouncement 2

Forasmuch as NAME 2 and NAME 1 have grown in knowledge and love of one another, and because they have agreed in their desire to go forward in life together, seeking an even richer, deepening relationship, and because they have pledged to meet sorrow and joy as one family, we rejoice to recognize them as partners in life.

Pronouncement 3

Forasmuch as NAME 2 and NAME 1 have thus pledged themselves to each other in the presence of God and this company, I do now, by the virtue of the authority vested in me by the Unitarian Universalist Church, pronounce that they are partners in life.

Word Of Celebration And/Or Prayer

(Select one or more of the following.)

Celebration 1

We rejoice this day in the Holy Union of NAME 2 and NAME 1. We celebrate the love that brought them to this day. With love that deepens through many years, may they know its meaning and its mystery - how we become truly one in sharing ourselves with one another, and yet, remain truly two in our own uniqueness. May your house be a place of happiness for all who enter it, a place where the old and the young are renewed in each other's company, a place for growing, a place for music, a place for laughter. And when shadows and darkness fall within its rooms, may it still be a place of hope and strength for all who enter it, especially for those who may be entrusted to your care. May no person be alien to your compassion. May your larger family be the family of all humankind. And may those who are nearest to you and dearest to you constantly be enriched by the beauty and the bounty of your love for each other. (Amen)

Celebration 2

Let us Pray: Eternal God, creative source of life, in the midst of which we live and move and have our being; in thy name are we met together, to witness and to bless the union of these two lives. May they be a blessing and comfort, each to the other, sharers of each other's joys, consolers of each other's sorrows, helpers of each other, in all the chances and changes of the world. In perfect love and creative peace, may they keep themselves, fulfilling in their very beings of the law of creative life. (Amen)

Celebration 3

Let us Pray: We ask for rich blessings upon NAME 2 and NAME 1 who in the presence of eternity and in the sight of this company have pledged unto each other all that mind and heart can give. May they ever remain faithful to the vows taken this day. In serenity of spirit may they learn to face with courage and patience whatever afflictions may be visited upon them or those whom they love. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, may the love which they have for one another grow in meaning and strength until its beauty is made manifest in a common devotion to all that is compassionate and lifegiving. Learning to serve on another in a partnership of love, may they learn to serve the highest ends of humanity itself, and thus become witnesses to the sacredness of life in the midst of each common day.
(Amen)

Celebration 4

May the blessing that rest upon all who love, rest also upon you and fill you with all spiritual grace. May the bond that unites you ever be strengthened. May you so love and work together in the days that are to come that your lives shall be enriched and ennobled by a true and deepening comradeship of mind and heart.

Celebration 5

And now, may the confidence, trust, and affection you have for each other on this day, sustain you as you go forth upon your journey of life together with its joy, its laughter, its sorrow and its pain. May you find together the loftiest that is in the universe. May you dwell together in peace, love and joy.

Celebration 6

NAME 1 and NAME 2, Holy Union is the joining of two people-the union of two hearts. It lives on the love you give each other and never grows old, but thrives on the joy of each new day. May you always be blessed in your hearts with the wonder of this special day. May you always be able to talk things over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life together, and to share moments of quiet and peace, when the day is done. May you be blessed with a lifetime of happiness.

Celebration 7

Go now hand in hand along the path you choose to walk together. Maintain a closeness to nature, a degree of simplicity, an awareness of beauty and love for each other which will always permit you to look into each others eyes and say that you would do it again.

Embrace

Recessional

(NAME 1 and NAME 2 exit followed by other participants in the ceremony and the minister)

Extra Options If Desired

Candle Lighting

Candle Lighting Ceremony 1

For over three thousand years human beings have used candles as a source of light. They are also symbols of warmth, of hope, and of life itself. NAME 2 and NAME 1, you have entered into a union which is most sacred, requiring of those who enter into it a complete and unreserved giving of self. It will bind you together in a relationship so close, and so intimate that it will profoundly affect your whole future. (Minister lights NAME 1 and NAME 2's candle) Would you now each, from your own candle, light a third as a symbol of your new relationship.

(NAME 1 and NAME 2 light third candle)

(NAME 1 & NAME 2): "We shall this day light such a candle as we trust will never be put out."

Candle Lighting Ceremony 2

As this day you have made a new light together may you also continue to recognize that separateness from which your relationship has sprung. May the lights of your own special lives continue to feed the new flame of love which can make your future, with its hopes and disappointments, its successes and its failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows, a future filled with warmth and love.

Candle Lighting Ceremony 3

Not from pride, but from humility as mortals, with human weaknesses and strengths, you stand together today and promise faith as symbolized by this light. Your will find your faith as you live each moment consecrated to a search for truth and aided by the light of your love for each other.

Ceremony Of The Winecup

Winecup Ceremony 1

The years of life are as a cup of wine poured out for you to drink. The cup of life contains within it the sweet wine of happiness, joy, hope and delight. The same cup, at times, holds the bitter wine of disappointment, sorrow, grief, and despair. Those who drink deeply of life invites the full range of experiences into their being. This cup is symbolic of the pledges you have to made to one another to share together the fullness of life. As you drink from this cup, you acknowledge to one another that your lives, until this moment separate, have become one vessel into which all your sorrows and joys, all your hopes and fears, all you dreams and dreads, will be poured, and from which you will find mutual sustenance. many days you will sit at the same table and eat and drink together.

Drink now, and may the cup of your lives be sweet and full to overflowing. (Present glass to NAME 2, who will sip and pass it to NAME 1.)

Winecup Ceremony 2

This cup of wine symbolizes the cup of life; it can be bitter and it can be sweet. By sharing it, you undertake to share the sweet as well as the bitter moments life brings. (Present glass to NAME 2, who will sip and pass to NAME 1>)

Winecup Ceremony 3

The sanctity and harmony of Holy Union are as fragile as glass; and just as one blow can shatter it, so they too can be shattered by acts of thoughtlessness and infidelity. Treasure your Holy Union and temper it with the strength of your love.

(If desired, glass can now be broken, and all those present shout "mazel tov (good luck)!"